Sex, Love and the Ultimate

This is a part of an email I wrote to a friend who raised the issue of sex in the spiritual search.




It seems to me that sex, and in particular the attempt to reach the climax, the orgasm- is an imitation of our undying, eternal need to reach the Ultimate, to return to the Oneness of reality.
Just as in our human lives we often try to imitate many qualities that otherwise might be called "divine"- such as our constant search for happiness on the outside, in
the world of form - as an attempt to imitate the constant state of bliss while Being the Love and Truth
which is the Ultimate...
Another such attempt on our side is the constant need to know and understand- the search for knowledge, which is an imitation of the Ultimate wisdom which consumes all and consumed by all.
When the bible said that God created Adam in His own image, it was certainly not a visual representation of what the Ultimate is.
It was a model of the main qualities of the Creator -
In a similar way it can be said that the Ocean creates the waves in it's own 'image'- the wave has the qualities of the ocean, but has no separate existence, and as such exists only as a concept, a kind of illusion.

This metaphor of the ocean makes it easy to see that there is no separation, and never was, the unity of the 'wave' and the ocean is undeniable, in quite the same way 'our' unity with what we call God/The Ultimate/Allah/Universe and so forth- is utterly undeniable.
It is quite intriguing that those waves- such as we are, have developed a sense of being separated and surrounded by 'everything else'...there is myself and there is all the others.
But how absolutely absurd it is, for a wave (which will disappear a moment after) to come up and say "I am me" and to look at other waves and say "they are not me".

So let us return to our original theme- sex. What is sex? It's an act of desire, of passion in a form of lust. What is desire, what is this lust? It is an intense feeling of something which is missing from the present moment, it's a feeling of being divided, of being incomplete. Every desire can be summed up as an attempt to be complete, an attempt to be whole. Thus every craving is in the same instant an aversion- aversion from the feeling of being incomplete.
And this works the other way around- every aversion is a craving...thus they are one.

So sex is one of the forms we humans like to use to satisfy even for a moment our delusion of not being whole. Sex is an imitation of power, it is an imitation of true connection, of being un-separated, of being united- imitation of love. The orgasm is the imitation of the divine bliss that is the Unity, the short moment of happiness. The search for instant gratification, that many of us are so used to.

In a way what masturbation is to sex - sex is to making Love.

I think making Love is a beautiful way of communication between two people, not as a means to reach unity through it- but as a means to express the unity they *already* experience. Two people who are truly experiencing Love- do not have a need for sex, but they recognize it as one more opportunity to expand and paint the art of their Love on the canvas of their lives.

This type of connection is truly rare.

In lust- the person is looking for the other person to satisfy his own needs- it's a self centered action, which instead of melting the separation (which is what that person unknowingly wants) - only emphasizes it.

In romantic love- the person wants to satisfy the other person's wants and needs. But it is still an act of desire, there is still a sense of separation. There is still "me" making "someone else" feel good- and thus feeling good about it as well.

In true Love- there are no desires and no sense of separation, thus making love is just an expression of the unity of the couple.

In no way am I trying to say that sex- in a form that comes to satisfy ones desires is wrong. It is a natural human act and if done with mutual respect and agreement, there is nothing "wrong" with it. I am only trying to look at the deeper layer- of the motives to our actions. By understanding the motives of our actions we can understand ourselves better, and thus- our actions and their fruit will automatically transform as we become more aware.

May we all abide in that true Love, may we all be truly Happy.